X-Men 3 – The Last Stand, herein referred to as X3, is a mixed bag from replacement director Brett Ratner, after the original director Bryan Singer left to remake Superman Returns.

X3 continues the story of the X-men battling to keep the peace led by Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart), whereas the Brotherhood wishes to fight humanity and the X-men to remain as the dominant species as opposed to living peacefully and are led by Magneto (Sir Ian McKellen).

The film opens with a flashback scene to 20 years previously, where we see both Charles and Eric (aka Magneto) still friends and fighting for the same cause, embarking upon a house who’s residents harbour a daughter named Jean Grey. I say harbour because the parents consider Jean’s “condition” (that she is a mutant) to be one of secrecy and not to be shared out in the public domain. Even at an early age Jean proves to have powers that are beyond those of Charles and Eric, and already we see the wheels turning in motion as to what will become of her.

Flashback forward 10 years and we witness a bloody scene with a child sawing off his wings. He’s a mutant, but doesn’t want his father to know. Locked in his bathroom, he continues to saw until his father breaks open the door to discover his son is a mutant.

We then flashback to a “not too distant future” and witness the X-men in full combat mode,. fighting an unseen foe. When the battle is over, we discover it’s simply a holograpic projection, but we also get a homage to the Sentinels of the X-Men series. Perhaps it’s a hint at a fourth film in the X-Men franchise, or simply a gift for the fans.

Scott Summers (James Marsden) aka Cyclops decides to take leave and disappear from Xavier’s school, still cut up about Jean’s disappearence after leaving her behind to save them all. It’s not long, however, until Jean appears out of nowhere, and when Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) and Storm (Halle Berry) look for Cyclops, the only thing they discover are floating rocks and Cyclop’s sahdes.

Meanwhile, the humans have created a cure to the mutant gene, seeing it as an affliction that needs a remedy. The source of the cure is a gifted mutant who absorbs other mutant powers, making them human and vulnerable like anyone else. By taking an extraction, the humans have kept the child in confined quarters, and created a “vaccine” to cure those with the mutant gene – something that tempts more than one mutant.

I’m hoping you’ve got all that, because it’s an awful lot to ingest and remember for the sake of a film. Whereas the first two films were tight on direction, and offered concise narrative, and few subplots, the third film is all over the shop with a story here, a story there, a subplot over there, and a subplot or two over here. To call the film sloppy would be an understatement, and the direction lacking in any control.

Acting is woeful at best, and medicore at worst. Some of the scenes are completely cheese driven, and the performances don’t help in any way. Even the usually reliable Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellan lack any real grit in their acting. There’s a severe lack of character developement, particularly with Famke Janssen as Jean Grey, and wholly unconvincing. To say you dont’ care what happens is understating things just a little, especially when you have mis-casts such as Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut (who isn’t even supposed to be a mutant for crying out loud).

The action scenes fail to excite too, often feeling unoriginal and monotonous in their execution. A few fireworks go off, people disintegrate for the umpteenth time and people and mutants run in opposite directions. It’s all so underwhelming that in the end you’re not particularly bothered who wins and who loses, it’s lose-lose situation for the poor viewer who has to sit through the barrage of crap thrown at him or her.

Overall, I was very disappointed with X-Men 3 – The Last Stand, I hope this is the last stand, particularly if Ratner is poised to take the reigns again. He should stick to the awful Rush Hour series he’s kick started and leave the mutants in peace.

Verdict: Underwhelming and disappointing third film. Avoid.