Troll 2 is a very bad film. It’s like those German horror films that are dubbed in English: over dramatic and over acted. It’s really awful, but in a way that makes you laugh and smile, and sometimes cringe with a slap to the forehead as to the idiocy of the script and acting.
Recommended by a friend, after the disappointment of Haunted House, I kept thinking this was the film with Jennifer Aniston before she was famous. I was of course thinking about Leprechaun 2, which is a completely different film and actually a fun horror. Troll 2 is something completely different. I haven’t seen Troll or Troll 3 (if there is one) and it wouldn’t surprise me if there were sequels along the lines of Son of Troll, or Troll Human Mix-up 3. Or something like that.
Troll 2 is about a dead grandfather who talks to his grandson as a ghost, warning him and telling him the stories of goblins and how evil they are. The grandson is considered mentally dysfunctional, and so is treated by a doctor and told by his parents to shut his trap hole about his dead grandfather. Through some inexplicable script writing, the family decide to carry out a family exchange of premises. A family from the village of Nilbog would come over to the American suburban home, and the family from suburbia would move to the stick country, where the bumpkins live, chewing straw and calling their sister, daughter.
Joshua (the kid) is reluctant to leave, as his grandfather warns that a great evil lurks there. Goblins live in Nilbog (Goblin spelt backwards – 2 points for originality), and it’s the source of all goblin activity. Still, the family persists with their endeavour and decide to chill out in their new crib, oblivious to the strange behaviour of the villagers who essentially need their own food. They offer the family all sorts of food, containing green stuff, which turns a human into half plant and half human – the favourite meal of a goblin.
There are a few incidents where branches tear through a torso, and blood gushes out of someone’s mouth when bark is remove, but in all honesty it’s a weak effort
Acting, as is expected, is atrocious. Dialogue is horrendous, and the very script is an abysmal crime. The druid female is amusing to say the least, with her bug eyes twisting with her mouth every time she speaks. The kid is annoying as hell, and you kind wish he’d get killed anyway. The rest of the family is equally stupid and awful in their roles, and no one really excels. When the druid lady turns into a hot lady and sex involves corn on the cob which turns into popcorn, you know you can’t take this film seriously in the slightest.
The special effects are some of the worst you’ll ever see, but that’s part of the fun I think. In addition, you’ll also find some weird scenes of suggested incest, vegetable sex, anti-vegetable propaganda, and the discovery of two things that can kill a troll: the goodness of the heart, and a hamburger (Goblins are vegetarians). I’m still curious as to why the film is called Trolls but talks of goblins when (geek mode) they are two distinct fantasy creatures that are related, but not the same (end geek mode). Still it’s a minor thing, and I wouldn’t get hung up on it, considering the fact that this film fails to even be consistent, it’s not surprise it can’t get the distinctions right.
Scares are none existent, and gore is surprisingly lacking. There are a few incidents where branches tear through a torso, and blood gushes out of someone’s mouth when bark is remove, but in all honesty it’s a weak effort. The best bad movies are those where the actors take their roles so seriously, and this is no exception. I enjoyed it a lot, because everyone seems to think this is Oscar winning material. The expressions of disgust, and fear are some of the funniest I’ve seen.
Troll 2 is dumb, horrifically made, and all in all a lot of fun to watch. Whether sober or under the influence, it should put a smile on your face and ensure gratitude for those who make such bad films on a regular basis. To call this film one of the worst horror films made in cinematic history would be doing it an injustice; but it is very, very close to being so. For any film to get that close, it has to be pretty bad, and this is no exception.
Verdict: Absolutely awful horror yarn, and one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life. Grab it for some fun!