Seven Swords is a bad return to the screen from Tsui Hark, made famous for his wired kung fu films, starring the flexible friend, Jet Li. What aims to be an epic is eluded by a spell of over acting and lack of real conviction.

Even the fighting is shockingly second rate as the subtle wire effect is turned into a self parody that humours more than it bedazzles.

There is some weak story about a villanous war monger who’s chasing after an old friend, someone who has decided to cross sides and call on the help of individuals who are gifted with martial arts.

The individual bent on destroying and killing anyone who performs martial arts for money, has his own rugged, rabble that look more like members of Marylin Manson than convincing villains. The bloodless sword also makes an appearence, as do plot holes and shabby performances all round.

Visually, Hark has managed to achieve some modest flavour of an old China changing to a new dynasty. Costumes range from the ragged and worn, to the lavish and flamboyant. At times though, you wish they would stick the halloween costumes back where they belong as they add nothing. We, the audience, are not so moronic as to require a visual clue as to who the good guys are, and how to distinguish as to who the bad guys are.

The villains look a few centuries out of place, and unfrotunately I cannot remove the idea that they should be playing with guitars rather than ridiculous weapons that just don’t fit, either the period or the characters. The actors seem hindered by large piece of set attached to their arm. It’s bad, in a bad way, rather than a good way.

Acting is tiring at best. There are moments of sexual tension, but often these scenes come away looking like epileptic seizures instead of the lusty, illicit passions that are intended. Indeed, if you changed the soundtrack, to something more dramatic, voiced over as a paramedic, you could pretend it as a clip from a period medical drama. The martial arts is a bit of a giveaway though.

All in all you feel nothing for the adventurous protagonist, events move swiftly from one formulaic fight to another, as the bad guys get knocked back by one, and some farcical story telling is attempted, with the curious need for moral justification for carrying out their deeds. I didn’t care what was happening, or who it was happening too.

Whether it was plot development (of which there is little) or character building (ditto), from fight scene to fight scene, Seven Swords is an underachiever of the highest calibre from a director who seems to lack finesse or punch (no pun intended) in this dull, and rather long feature.

Verdict: Seven Snores for Seven Swords. The Seven Dwarves offer more than this