Mean Creek is mixed bag, both in story telling and in onscreen acting. Without prejudice and purely from an objective point of view, the new Culkin boy is without question a hideous actor. He wouldn’t be able to convince he was human even if tried his damndest to do so.

Sam is beaten up at school by a bully named George. George is fat, his mother is obese too so we know where he gets that from. He has no friends, he’s irritating, impatient and verbally abusive. In short, no one likes him, no one wants to like him or get to know him, and his behaviour doesn’t warrant any attention other than a swift kick up the backside.

Rocky, Sam’s brother, thinks Sam should get his own back, and with Rocky’s friends they come up with a plan to get George back that will humiliate him. The action is in motion, but Sam decides to change his mind as does everyone else when they realise that George is simply mentally maladjusted, and even though he’s an annoying letch, even scum deserves mercy. The leader of their wolf pack, however, disagrees. After an argument on the boat they’re paddling, George is thrown overboard and drowns.

Death on their conscience, the group must now decide what decision to take in order to avoid hell for life. The event changes the group, and divides them into their own worlds. Sam and his girlfriend being the youngest feel the effects the greatest, never thinking that a stupid planned prank could turn so deadly in the blink of an eye.

Or something like that. I wasn’t really paying attention. The cinematography is really beautiful at times, from the river to the surrounding area. Everything is captured in beautiful clarity giving thought to wanting to be there, enjoying the sun along a creek with your friends for some fun. The music is also very beautiful at times, and provides a haunting accompaniment to the gorgeous imagery.

Praise out of the way, this film stank of do-gooders and the most unconvincing series of events leading to a death. George is irritating as hell and brilliantly so. I absolutely despised him and cheered his death with fireworks and a carnival. I’ve known too many morons like George who get pity and sympathy for being the fat kid, when in fact they are short tempered little toe rags that deserve a kicking, just as they do so to others. In all seriousness though, Josh Peck as George is spot on, and a really vile character. I know they tried they sympathy spin, that he’s just lonely and dysfunctional, but he’s still an arse.

Carly Schroeder as Millie was a little over dramatic, perhaps pandering to the Oscar’s or Golden Globes, but certainly worthy of a drama queen award. Rory Culkin by comparison was the other extreme with no character, no realism, no purpose. If he’s following the Keanu guide to acting, then he’s going about it the right way, Perhaps the Culkins were genetically created not to express any form of emotion or to have any acting ability. Whatever the case, he is simply a spade being dragged around.

Aside from George’s character and the wonderful cinematography and soundtrack (aside from the band acts such as The Eeels), there’s very little going for Mean creek. Atmosphere and direction is good, but the acting talent is a vertible shambles. A collection of dirty stones thrown together and spruced up with some turtle wax probably. It’s horrible to watch, even more disturbing to conceive you’re watching it.

The story doesn’t really kick in or interest until the tragic accident, and then things don’t take long before the film is running the credits and it’s all over. So what can I say about a film that’s only interesting feature is a dead bully and some soul searching by some bad actors? The resolution is so boring, and yet so quick. From the initial death, the lack of strength in any of the characters is abhorrent. The guilt that eats them up is unrealistic since it takes a mere moment for them to start covering their tracks.

There’s no thought process, no drama or dilemma presented that offers any character who really is contemplating the reality of the situation. It’s like a TV movie where they have an accident and in the end the kids get caught by that raggedy old copper who’s been nice to them but guilted a confession out of them. This is a glossy TV movie then.

Verdict: Beautiful, but ultimately hollow and empty film