How does Uwe Boll manage to make a string of awful videogame to movie translations, and still be given more money to keep making this trash.

Part of it is Germany’s fault in their bid to support film making by German film makers, the fault is Uwe Boll’s determination to consistently write, direct and produce films that have a freehold on the label of Z-movies – films that are so bad they’re the only ones that require the last letter in the alphabet to describe their medioricty.

Opening with torrid dance music, played to the background visuals of the game from Sega, it continues its decent into crap with shaky camera work and a cliche ridden script that simply boggles the mind as to what makes this man actually think he’s doing everyone a favour by continually making films.

The acting is shockingly tragic, with lines delivered in a lazy, unrehearsed manner, and body language that suggests this is the first and only take because the budget won’t allow for a reshoot. Things get worse, rather than better, even with the numbers of survivors dwindling as you progress through the stench of this God awful film making.

Plot wise it doesn’t even match up to the game, that offered an equally cliched script, but it was at least semi-interesting and tied in a lot of events together. The same can’t be said with Uwe Boll’s interpretation, which reads like a Friday the 13th movie where teenagers get plastered and then find a bunch of zombies killing them. That’s it really. That’s essentially the script.

Everything else may as well be improvised, though you’d probably find that hard to believe because you don’t need a brain cell to understand this film requires no brains either to watch or act in. You know’re in trouble when they use the line, “There must be a scientific explanation for this”.

Gore effects and the violence are spliced with images from the game. It doesn’t make sense as to why, as often the on screen action doesn’t match up to the game clips, but I guess there was a Sega clause stipulating that such a method is used to promote the game. It’s dumb, incredibly so, and works against what is already a film in dire need of medical assistance. You may also need a trauma team for those who risk their sanity in watching this pile of fermented dog dirt.

There’s even a homage of sorts to the Matrix series of films, with slow mo style camera work. Most of it is actually a cheap imitation, but on one or two occassions, Boll excels himself to show that he can do some nifty camera work on a shoe string budget. There’s a couple of large pyrotechhnics that take place, which I expect ate up the reaminder of his budget.

With an abrupt ending, a rap written especially for this film (which is quite hilarious), bad acting, semi-decent gore effects, no logic and a small budget, Boll continues to hold the crowning glory for the worst director in the history of cinema. He is the Ed Wood of my generation, except he’s alive and still making films, and shows no sign of stopping.

Along with Paul Anderson we can expect more game adapations of the woeful kind, and some idiot somewhere will continue to fund them. We can only pray for a quick death.

Verdict: This film is pure evil. Do not watch it. Please