HelloLand comes from the darkside of writing. What seems an innocent tale, turns out to be a tale of betrayal, death, conspiracy, tragedy and complete madness.
Admittedly, it was the cover that attracted me initially. I didn’t pick it up straight away though. I grabbed the book, looked at the front, saw the Astronaut and the old school telephone dial and the pink writing and put it down. It came across as some romantic tale about an astronaut and his partner missing him. In some respects it had a degree of this, but it’s so minuscule and subtle that it really can’t be counted substantially.
After I picked up the other eight or so other books in Books etc., I came back to Nick Walker’s HelloLand. Picked it up and read the first page. I was hooked immediately. Hell I even started to like the cover. I decided to read it once I had finished I’m Not Scared. It seemed like a darkly comic alternative to a book about the tragedy of childhood innocence.
HelloLand begins with a conversation between Chip (someone from England working in the States) and his current best Friend Jim. Chip works at the EZ Sleep hotel, part of the EZ chain of businesses, which includes the Pancake Parlour. Jim is a cab driver who, like Chip, is keenly interested in space travel. In fact, it seems everyone is interested in the Space Shuttle launch.
the Chef who tries to get off on a sex line, but ends up with a voice that wants to discuss intellectual subjects
Jim has driven to the site of the Shuttle launch and converses with Chip, describing what is happening, what everyone is feeling and so on. They’re both excited, in particular Chip. Chip was one of the finalists to be on the Space Shuttle flight, but instead it was Sally who made it. How she made it, is down to Chip. Chip was responsible for a lot of things during the contest, admissions which reveal themselves during the book.
To celebrate Sally’s success, and to celebrate how far they had come, Chip decides to hold a party at the EZ Sleep hotel, inviting the fellow finalists who failed to make the grade to meet up. It’s perhaps the worst thing that Chip could have arranged, but arrange it he has, and everyone is invited.
The hotel Chip works at is run by a sadistic, maniacal and high-blood pressured manager Mr Moulin. Mr Moulin hates the hotel chain he has set up, he hates the Pancake parlous, he hates the Orbiter, he hates his wife so much he has made her the cleaning lady, and she spends her time living in the Lost Property closet.
His wife listens to the evangelist radio station, which dramatically condemns the Space Shuttle launch as the work of the devil and man’s downfall. The wife herself is a little unhinged. She hates everyone, and prefers to stay in the closet. When she does leave, she does the little cleaning she wants, and tends to make things worse than make them better. She cares as little as Moulin does.
Moulin is unrelenting in his demands, behaving more like a military leader than a manager. He pushes Chip around, but Chip is pretty much a slacker now. He cares less about the job, and more about the Shuttle launch. The only reason he took the job was so he could see the Shuttle trail in the sky. Moulin shows his disdain at this, but takes him on anyway. No one else turned up for an interview, and Moulin needed someone quick. Chip was it.
Chip has one arm, which Moulin makes a fuss of. Chip comes up with some amusing lies with which to justify the loss of his arm, but Moulin is having none of it. He has enough and just wants Chip to do the job. Chip works with a switch board. Not a difficult job you’d think, but Chip doesn’t except the world to turn upside down. His good intentions on getting everyone together from the finals of the Shuttle selection come back to haunt him with the malicious and tragic results.
he hates his wife so much he has made her the cleaning lady, and she spends her time living in the Lost Property closet
HelloLand is Nick Walker’s second book, following the critical success of Blackbox (which I will review at a later date). It’s incredibly funny, and uses dark, and sometimes quite sick, humour in portraying the mental insanity of the characters in the title. For all intents and purposes, everyone in this book is a psycho or at least in some capacity mentally disturbed. This starts to show as we learn more about the finalists, Mr Moulin himself as he starts to request things which verge on the abnormal.
Even the guests staying at the hotel hide deep, dark secrets which aren’t known to Chip until at a later point. From the Chef who tries to get off on a sex line, but ends up with a voice that wants to discuss intellectual subjects rather than being “Wet and Wanting”, to the Radar Operator who chooses to stay underwater, almost costing his life, because he likes the water. Everyone is psychotic and disturbed, with perhaps the exception of Jim and Chip. However, Walker even puts their lives into tragic circumstance.
Walker’s writing is morbid, but funny. There seems to be some sort of deep sense of sadism in his writing, he enjoys writing about tragedy, but writes with humour. You have to wonder whether he writes during his most angriest moments, or whether he is typically capable of writing in this manner by detaching himself. I would like to meet him, just to find out where he gets his darkness from.
HelloLand is one of the funniest, darkest books I have read to date. It captures the imagination of an intelligent writer, puts together bleak moments with comic tragedy and creates an ensemble of the most mental people you are ever likely to meet. Ironically, it is perhaps a reflection of people you may already know.
Verdict: Sharp, witty, original. Absolutely unmissable. Buy it.