I hate book adaptations, let me make this clear. They have all pretty much failed to date, with some managing to keep the essence of a book, and yet still failing. This isn’t because a reader is disappointed by someone else’s vision, it’s because these stories were never meant for film, nor were they intended to be condensed into two hours – which seems the typical length of a Hollywood film these days. I remember when 90 minutes was the norm, but the crap just seems to be getting longer, and yet I digress.

Big Fish, the film, is based on the book of the same name, written by Daniel Wallace. I needed a film to watch, as it’s been a while since I’ve seen anything. It’s directed by Tim Burton, so I presumed this to be a good thing, and a vision of hope with such an ambitious project.

Sadly, however, the film isn’t nearly as great as you would be led to believe. In fact, I would regard this as one of Burton’s weakest films ever. Even weaker than Frankenweenie in some cases. Yes, weaker than a short film.

Perhaps I’m being overly critical and harsh, seeing as I had quite high expectations of the film. On the one hand I struggled to watch it as a standalone film, with no relevance to the book. The other part of me continually criticised the film as it ran, with the words, “Dear God no! This is all wrong, that ISN’T HOW IT HAPPENS FFS!”. It was quite a nightmare, but I managed to remove myself from criticising the film before it ended.

To be honest, I thought the film wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t great, it was just rather average I guess. The problem with the film lies in its pace and the continuity. It seems very much an obvious edited job in some regards like the LOTR films. That is to say, you get to see one version, but then there’s a super extended version which includes more of the book. I’m sure that hasn’t been the intention here, but even without reading the book, you sort of get a sense of something missing between scenes. There is a serious lack of continuity.

In reality, the film should have been both much darker, and much funnier, and this should have been quite easy for Burton to manage as that’s pretty much his territory

The pace is also an issue, as we move from scene to scene, with some scenes taking a very long time, and others, scenes which are equally important that fail to garner the same amount screen time. The distribution and organisation of pace is rather muddled. This perhaps has something to do with the scenes which have more than a case of “artistic licence”. The courtship of Edward’s wife, and the events he goes through to reach that point were rather dull and monotonous.

Character development also lacks, which is rather ironic seeing as there’s very few main characters anyway. Albert Finney plays a dying father, but plays the character with such retardation, you sometimes wonder whether he’s dying, or just handicapped. Billy Crudup plays his son, William, convincingly well for the most part. Jessica Lange plays Edward’s wife, and in the film William also has a wife. Adding a fourth person to the family dynamic has meant the rationing of screen time and a reduction in character development. You don’t really care about the characters as such, even though you know that someone is dying in the family, there’s a lack of empathy due to the rather mediocre performance in the limited time they have.

You can’t be convinced that William is concerned, that the wife is losing someone, that the doctor is also troubled. None of it convinces, and it’s a real shame as the cast of talent is quite excellent. Even Helena Bonham Carter comes off as someone reading from their script for the first time. Danny DeVito is also a huge mistake. God knows what Burton was thinking, but this is one of DeVito’s worst performances as a supporting character. I’m actually trying to think of any one that really played their part well. I’m thinking the giant, but even then he wasn’t exactly convincing me with his acting ability as a desolate giant.

The tales vary, with some following the book, but most going off on tangents and going their own way. So, now I have tried my best to not compare it to the book too often, and try to focus on the film itself. But I’ve got this far, and now I think it’s fair to go all out.

This film is about average as a standalone job, with mediocre performances, poor scripting and moderately likable direction. Standing side by side next to the book, if the book is the Eiffel Tower, then the film is not even an atom. That is the gap between the film and the book. Whereas the book keeps you gripped, entrances you in its majesty and brilliance of imagination, the film detaches you from this idea, and keeps you as an outsider looking in on events that happened to someone. It’s so far removed to enthrall that they would need to rewrite the whole bloody thing to get anywhere near the brilliance of the book.

There are far too many poor substitutes and unnecessary changes to the story. The tale of the town of Spectre was ruined, as was Edward’s escape (not bloody fanfare send off with the Giant) from Ashland where he meets the people that never got past the almost satanic dog that took away at least one limb from newcomers.

The film also lacked Edward’s innocence as in the book. Edward is a simple guy, and every day is a new learning experience, from leaving Ashland, to meeting new people, to getting his first job and so on. It’s all so assured in the film, whereas in the book you feel for the character as he works his arse off trying to achieve his ambitions. Loved by women, and admired by men, of course, but Edward is meant to be a character who earns his stripes.

The manner in which he woos his wife is also very different from the book, and almost makes Edward a stalker. In the book, Edward is a little more nervous, and everything happens in a flash. There is also more relevance to the guy from Ashland who becomes engaged to Edward’s future wife, and the manner in which it all occurs, from that day when the kids see their death in the old lady’s eye. Even that has changed from Edward trying to do a good thing, in return for a favour, to Edward asking her to show the kids the eye. It’s all a bit haphazard and immediate. No thought has been taken in to any of it. It’s a case of butcher rather than adapt, and because of this most of it doesn’t work as an adaptation, but more “My favourite bits pasted together, hurriedly”.

Perhaps I’m being overly critical and harsh, seeing as I had quite high expectations of the film

I like the way it ended to some extent, keeping with the book, but then true to the whole bloody idea of the film, there had to be yet another creative input and essentially make it one big bloody festival of farewells. As you read the book, although you are aware these are the tales of a dying man, told by his son, the distinction and line between reality and story is very thin. How much of it is true, how much is actually made up is entirely up to the reader. In the film, the conclusion is made for you, with the addition of the funeral scene, cementing any idea that perhaps the story telling life that Edward led, ends in as much of a fairytale.

There are too many things wrong with this film that just cannot, and will not match up or stand up to the quality and joy of the book. I’ve been trying to think hard of a recent Tim Burton film that has actually been good. The last one I could think of was The Nightmare Before Christmas, Ed Wood and possibly Sleep Hollow, and beyond that I’m struggling. I’m sure he has made something good very recently, but I just wonder if Burton still has the vision that he once had.

In reality, the film should have been both much darker, and much funnier, and this should have been quite easy for Burton to manage as that’s pretty much his territory. In the book there is a wonderful humour, an underlying melancholy and at the end of it a hint of hope and happiness. That sounds to me like a Burton flick, so how on Earth did he get it so horribly wrong with this film? God knows, but I tell you this much, although once I was looking forward to his version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I am currently shitting my pants with dread now that I have seen Big Fish.

Verdict: Sloppy, incoherent, and disappointingly average. Butchered rather than adapted from the book.